Tips on Dating, From the Bible
To start off I should tell you that Dating itself is not mentioned in the Bible. Dating in kinda a newer thing, if you want direct advice from the time period of the Bible penning about how to find a spouse it goes like thus… “You have little to know choice, get over it”. Oddly enough, that’s not as helpful in present times. But what we can do is understand how we should act in our relationships with the opposite sex, directly from biblical wisdom. See God knew things would be different now and if you look, you can find out what he’s thinking for us in today’s time. S0 without further ado, Tips on dating, From the Bible:
Tip 1) Parents
Now hold on, before you stop reading! I know that parents can drive you crazy. Even more so when it involves members of the opposite sex, but I promise this is helpful information. So for starters, if your parents have a “No- Dating” rule, then with all of my heart and collective strength I recommend that you listen to them. Really, I do. See, you live under their roof, in their home, sleeping on their furniture, eating their food, and asking for their money to do stuff. So just on logic, you want to be on their good side for as long as possible. But, if my word isn’t good enough let me bring up Ephesians 6:2-3 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— ”that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”. God has granted your parents both authority and responsibility for you under their care. If you follow along with your parents and honor them, God promises that you will enjoy your long life and it will be well with you. How cool is that? Now if your parents are lax on the dating but disapprove of the person you are with, perhaps you should seriously question why you are with them? Because your parents want what best for you (that why they make you eat your veggies and go to Youth Group) It may seem stupid at the time, or maybe like they just had you having fun, but they are really looking out for you, So give them a listen. Cause, believe it or not… they once had to have a relationship before they me each other, so they might know a thing or two about how dating works (or doesn’t).
Tip 2) Patience
So you found the person you are going to spend forever with and want to give them everything right now… but why? Look this is hard for a teen (or adults) to hear sometimes, but it’s cool to have patience. If you have found that perfect someone who you know you are going to be with, then why is waiting for that to happen so bad.. why rush it? The only reason I can come up with to rush it is because you don’t think it’s really gonna last and you want to be intimate, kissy, or touchy with them while you still have the chance and that is stupid (sorry.. it is) Because you don’t want to just settle for the right now, cause if you wait then you get the best. You get what God has set in place for you, because He loves you and knows you best. Check out Genesis 29:16-20 “ Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel was lovely in form, and beautiful. Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, “I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.” Laban said, “It’s better that I give her to you than to some other man. Stay here with me.” So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.” I gave a friend some advice one time, about being patient and not just throwing his heart to the next girl he met. I asked him under what circumstance would he need to tell , verbally, I love you, prior to him being ready to make a life commitment to her. Because we have become so quick to say those words, but in reality those words mean,” I will lay down my life for you, all that I am, I will put aside for you, to focus on your needs and desires first” Because we know that that is love, Jesus says in 1 John 3:16 “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers” Until we reach that point, it’s ok to like someone .. it’s even ok to really like someone. But love isn’t a feeling that make you warm and fuzzy, it’s a choice to give everything you have to a person and if your to young now, be patient. You can even be in love and display it without having to say it. Every action you do can declare in a godly way that you love this person. If it is for real it will still be there when you grow up. And if it’s not for real and fades, that’s ok. Better you be patient and find out, then rush into saying “I love you”, letting you heart get all tangled up, possibly getting intimate, kissy or touchy then having it all fall apart. You deserve to have those words spoken to you and have them truly meant to the fullest and so does the person you might be with. So don’t rush in to saying “I Love You” cause it’s alright to like someone a lot until you can make a commitment. ( Disclaimer: this isn’t a law or a rule, just something to think about… Why would you NEED to say I love you before you willing to make a life long commitment?)
3) Faith (or Phaith)
When you are with someone a lot, you start absorbing some of what they are. For example; My wife, Mrs. Q, started reading comic books while we were dating. Se had never really read a comic book before but started to because of me. As well, I started learning about sharks and squids and things because of her. We shared what was in our life because we were so close, we stated to have things in common. This is one of the reasons its so important to share your faith with any significant other. They need to be able to appreciate and enhance your relationship with Jesus and the only way to do that is to be a Christian. 2 Corinthians 6:14-16a says ” Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.” While you may go to school with Non-Christians and may even look like a non-christian, and possible even have the same DNA as a non-christian God has made you a “new creation” when you accepted him into your life. The word that is used is like the same word used for when a caterpillar is changed to a butterfly. That’s a pretty radical change, and I can honestly say, I haven’t seen and butterflies carrying around any caterpillars because they are romantically involved. I was asked ” But what if the person you like isn’t a christian…yet? Can you date them and take them to church?” This comes kinda back to patience, cause if you care for them and they care for you then you don’t have be in any hurry to be in a relationship. Take them to church as a friend and be honest with them. I don’t date Non-Christians, but I like you and Jesus can change your life. Missionary Dating doesn’t work… I’ve seen more friend say “this won’t affect my faith” While they date a non-christian to then just see them walk away. As their friend it’s heart breaking, because you try to warn them… and if they had just never started that relationship in the first place they would never had to chose we between their other or Jesus. But, In a relationship with 2 Christians, you can pray together, share what Jesus is doing in your life, share Bible readings, maybe even do a Bible study together. It’s awesome to have Christ in common!
4) Respect
See in the world of relationships, respect is one of the most important things to remember. Because if you don’t marry the person your with, someone else probably will, so you are with someone else spouse. That means some one might be with your future spouse… hopefully showing them the respect you would expect. See the bible says to deal with absolute purity. Let’s check out 1 Timothy 5:1-2 “Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity” Wow,, treat girls like your sisters? Treat boys like brothers… eww! Let em help you picture what it means to respect in this manner. I am going to use a boy as an example but this works both ways. So say a boy is out with a girl (awwww) they are sitting watching a movie. Suddenly he thinks of putting his arm around her. Then he goes to lean in for a smooch or more … WAIT! See I want this boy to think, if a guy was out with my sister, would I want him to be doing what I am doing right now? Would I want her to come home and tell em all the details? So reversing this around, Ladies, would you want your brother moving in on some girl like you might be moved in on for a smooch… or more? I didn’t think so. Realize that You are not only keeping yourself pure, but the person you are with as well, because they deserve to present themselves to the spouse God has picked out for them pure, just as you do.
Bonus) Prayer
Seriously on of the best tips I can give in this whole regard is praying for your future spouse… Now! Right now, turn to the Lord and go, “Lord, you have the perfect person for me, I just want to pray that that person is growing in You, making good choices and staying pure, Thank you for them, Amen”. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 (ESV) says “pray without ceasing”. I recommend you make a list of Spiritual attributes and pray that God places thois person in your life at the right time. Take a couple of minutes this week and make a list of 10 things you want your spouse to be (Godly things, not just that they are “hot”) Then every day or so just take a few minutes and pray for them. How cool would it be if on your wedding day you can turn to them and say “I’ve been praying for you since I was a teen” (that would be SO COOL!)
So I could probably write a good amount more on this but in reality, if your in the Word of God regularly and keeping an active prayer life, you will be learning new and awesome ways God can make you into an awesome boyfriend/girlfriend! So keep up your walk, be a Revolutionary Christan and …
Later Days
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